OTHERSIDERS WANTED

Written by Alex Ring

alring20@student.scad.edu

TV INTRO: An intro for a monster hunting tv show plays, showing cheap green and black renders of monster fling across the background. The hosts, TYLER Stone and HUNTER Geris, are introduced before the title “Other Siders Wanted”.

EXT. OUTSIDE FORREST. NIGHT

The two hosts for the show introduce themselves to the camera man recording them.

TYLER

Calling from the other side its yah bros! Tyler Stone...

HUNTER

And Hunter Geris!

TYLER

So bro, what sort of gnarly horror are we tracking down tonight?

HUNTER

We got a bad mama this time dude, the legendary SKINWALKER! Legend has it this guy stalks these woods, mutilating anyone it finds!

TYLER

Dang, this could get dangerous, but that's never stopped us before. Lets get going!

The three leave the vicinity of their recording van and start hiking through into the forest.

MOTION BLUR

EXT. DARK FOREST. NIGHT

The crew make their way through the trees, hills and grass of the forest as the two stars continue talking to the camera.

HUNTER

They say the Skinwalker is an escaped shadow organization coverup human experiment next dimensional anomaly of Native American folklore.

TYLER

Dang dude, this is getting real. We gotta find this guy pronto!

HUNTER

Bet we will man, this guy could be anywhe-

Suddenly the crew is stopped in their tracks by a strange gurgling noise echoing around them.

TYLER

Hey you don"‘t think that was...

HUNTER

Theirs only one thing ic coulb beit could be. Shit.

Suddenly the tension plummets as a long and guttural groan comes from Tyler.

TYLER

Oh my GOD Hunter! It was a fucking two word sentence!

HUNTER

(Minnesotan accent)I know, I know I’m sorry. The noise spooked me is all.

TYLER

What!? You mean that first take canned bullshit!? You know what fuck this I'm taking my break early.

LLOYD

Tyler come on don't be like that we just started filming. As Lloyd says this Tyler walks a few feet away to a well lit make-shift green room set up in a clearing and sits on a lawn chair.

EXT. GREEN ROOM. NIGHT

TYLER

Shut it camera man, I'm not hiking all that way again through this filthy forest without drink. Tyler loudly cracks open a beer from the near by cooler, which prompts Hunter to happily do the same.

HUNTER

Yeah he’s right,

Hunter sits down and opens his own beer.

HUNTER (CONT'D)

Not like the woods are going nowhere.

LLOYD

Look I know shootings a pain, I’m just trying to get the episode over with so we can all go home.

TYLER

Why bother? Its not like this show pulls in any big numbers.

HUNTER

Amen brother. Dontcha think the whole premise is a bit played out nowadays?

TYLER

Exactly! That's cause nobody buys all this supernatural crap anymore!

As Tyler says this, a Skinwalker begins appearing from the background, noticed only by Lloyd.

TYLER (CONT'D)

Like seriously, what sort of brain dead idiot would actually believe in the Skinwalker!?!

Suddenly the Skinwalker stumbles to the floor with a large thud, which draws Tyler and Hunter’s attention. As the tall creature picks himself up, the humans are stunned silent.

SKINWALKER

Hey, uh, is this where the kegger is guys?

After a brief moment of looking at the horrible visage, the trio scream in unison.

JUMP CUT

EXT. FOREST. NIGHT

Continuing their joint scream, the humans are seen running away as fast as they can.

HUNTER

What is that! What is that! What the fuck is that!

TYLER

It’s the fucking Skinwalker you brain dead idiot, and I fucking believe it!

LLOYD

Less talky! More runny! We’re almost back to the..

Suddenly the trio one after the other run into a group of creatures and fall to the floor. Looking up they see the group is composed of BIG FOOT, a DRAGON, MOTHMAN, and an ALIEN, and. Each of them holding things like beers, chairs, and other kegger supplies.

MOTHMAN

Ah fu-

JUMP CUT TO:

EXT. LARGE TREE IN THE FOREST. NIGHT

The three humans are webbed to an nearby tree by Mothman while the other monsters, including Skinwalker, stand and watch.

TYLER

Please! Please don't eat me! I'm too young and marketable to die!

HUNTER

This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn’t happe

Lloyd struggles in attempt to free himself.

LLOYD

What is this stuff freaking made off!?

The three start forming a cacophony.

MOTHMAN

Would you guys shut up!

He turns to the other cryptids

MOTHMAN (CONT'D)

Guys, what are we gonna do with them?

DRAGON

Can’t we just kill’em and get back to our kegger? I’ve been waiting months for this!

ALIEN

Don’t be so hasty man, we can’t just have three whole humans disappear without a trace. It would kinda, you know, raise a few questions.

BIG FOOT

We wouldn't even be in this situation if someone didn't consider a whole damn six pack pregaming!

Skinwalker is seen resting on a bush, clearly sick from everything he drank.

SKINWALKER

I said I’m sorry man, what more do you want from me?

MOTHMAN

Come on Bigs, lay off. He’s had it hard enough as is.

BIG FOOT

He got spotted by humans Mothman! Humans with cameras no less! A greater cryptid wouldn't have been so careless.

Hearing this gets Lloyd's attention.

LLOYD Hey, uh, what do you mean exactly when you say “Greater Cryptid?”

BIG FOOT

I thought we told you to shut...

ALIEN

Wait no, the humans got a point. What DO you mean by that? Should we assume you think you are one of these “greater cryptids”?

BIG FOOT

Well, yeah I mean come on guys I’m Big Foot! The original cryptid! I am THE creature people think of when they hear the name!

DRAGON

What! I'm centuries older than you! Not to mention the cooler and stronger! I'm obviously the greatest one hear.

We see Lloyd pull a lighter out of his pocket and starts burning through the string over the argument.

ALIEN

Oh please. How could an over-grown lizard from a planet of primitives compare the awe-inspiring might and popularity of a highly advanced extraterrestrial!?

MOTHMAN

Primitives!?! Did you just call me primitive you bobby headed nerd?!

BIG FOOT

Shut up I’m the best!!!

The argument devolves into all four of the monsters incomprehensively yelling over each other. At this moment Llyod successfully burns the string away. Tyler and Hunter take a moment to realize they are free, and the three together make an escape while most of the monsters are distracted.

SKINWALKER

Uh, guys. I think the humans are getting awa-

He interrupts himself by throwing up.

EXT. BACK AT THE VAN. NIGHT

The three have successfully made it back to their recording van. And with the escalated fight echoing in the distance, they drive off.

INT. INSIDE THE VAN. NIGHT

We see Hunter behind the wheel with Tyler riding shotgun and Lloyd taking his place in the back. The are all cheering and celebrating.

TYLER

Holy shit! I can believe we just did that! I never felt more alive!

HUNTER

Yeah! Those stupid beasties never stood a chance against us! Humanity for life!

TYLER

I was never even scared of those bozos to begin with.

HUNTER

Well you seemed pretty scared to me Tyler.

TYLER

That was all acting,(scoff) obviously.

LLOYD

Oh my god, guys you aren’t going to believe this.

TYLER

What?

INSERT SHOT

From the back lloyd shows Tyler and Hunter a recording he captured of the Alien explaining why he is the best cryptid.

HUNTER

You never stopped recording?!

LLOYD

My camera man instincts must have taken over. I captured everything!

HUNTER

Oh my god, this changes everything! This could flip the scientific community on it’s head, alter the nature of human existence.

TYLER

And make us filthy rich and famous! What are you waiting for? Upload that footage now!

LLOYD

I'm on it, I'm on it!

Just give me one second and But just as lloyd is about to upload the footage, their van hits a large bump on the road, causing him to drop the camera to the floor with a loud crack. The team is silent with shock.

THE END